Wonder Bread iPhone App

February 10th, 2010

I know, I know – I’m a hater. I can’t help it. Thinking of the cash and mental energy spent building inevitable flops like the new Wonder Bread Sandwich Wonder-izer makes me cringe.

Certainly, I’ve contributed my fair share of aesthetic pollution/terrorism during a lucrative and decorated career in interactive marketing, and if I end up starting my own shop, I’ll likely have to suffer through projects like these to make ends meet. (I hope not, but start-up life can be hard.)

Still, we should stay honest. Even if we ignore the irony of such an unhealthy product claiming to care about nutrition, this app won’t make America smarter, healthier, or more likely to buy Wonder Bread. These types of initiatives are pointless. Wonder Bread isn’t going to test better. It’s not going to borrow any halo from the iPhone brand. It’s not going to gain any new reach, any recall, and sure as hell won’t see any cases moved. It’s going to embarrass the person who flipped the switch on the green light.

Why do companies keep jumping on the “gotta be on every screen” mindless non-strategy? It doesn’t matter what we release, as long as it’s there!

The App Store, in particular, is a difficult ecosystem. Contrary to what marketing geniuses think, there isn’t an effective addressable audience equal to the number of iTunes accounts. Sure, the eyes are there, but they’re discerning (mostly), fickle (extremely), and purposefully ignorant of 98% of the apps in the store.

Wait a Minute…This is Genius!

Ya know, maybe Wonder Bread will actually help make America healthier with this app. By wasting their marketing cash on pointless efforts like this, they may lose some market share. Getting Wonder Bread out of shopping carts would be great for America.

Hopefully this strategy can spread to soft drink companies, tobacco companies, and booze conglomerates!